Hello, November :)

I'm welcoming November with all my heart and soul. I wish nothing but a happier and better days ahead from now on. This month is going to be busier than ever with all the assignments, events, trainings and competition. Hope everything went well. May Allah ease, insyaAllah. Amin.

Thank you, October :')

October has been such a roller coaster ride for me. Sometimes it's smooth and sail. The other day, it's full of negativity and disappointments. I admit, someone can never be positive all the way no matter how much he tries. There will always be days when everything just fail you. Most important thing is how you handle and react to it.

Alhamdulillah, I have few people around me who have been such a sweetheart, listening to all my dramas and rants, bearing with my overthinking and insecure self, motivating and bringing me back to positiveness and reality, making me realize that there's no harm in being down for a day or two. Telling me that it's normal, what I feel and encounter. Consoling me that everything is fine and even if it's not now, it will be soon if I want it to be. I am eternally grateful and blessed.

Thank you October. It's been a month full of... mental breakdowns which I'm thankful for. At least I get to keep few people who matter most, closer than they were in my life. Lesson learned the hard way. Always.

Know your worth

Well everyone does. Everyone deserves someone who could just appreciate and prove that they care about you as much as they claim they do. And a prince charming doesn't necessarily has to be a typical gentleman, rich, perfect and stuffs. It's more than that. It's subjective. I believe if this is one of the essay questions in the examination, we will definitely get A+. Because we just have a lot to describe a "prince charming".

Indeed, this is easier said than done. But hey! What is there to lose if you let go off the jerk anyway? Obviously, it's just admirable how a woman can stay with a guy, build and help him go through everything till he succeed. However, there's always a limit to everything. You can be admirable and help him grow but you can never guarantee he will grow as how you expected him to be in the end.

So why waste your time for someone who doesn't seem to care? There's a limit to everything you can do. There's a phase where you can close one eye and keep on pretending to be so oblivious about everything. Once you have cross the limit, things will never be the same anymore. Once you have had enough of acting, it's too late already.

And when the time comes, all that's left is just a goodbye. Because ultimately, you realize that you deserve better. Question is, when will it be?

Nice knowing you!

It feels good, knowing you. It's a good feeling, really.

I'll do these for you

I won't lie to you

I know she's just not right for you

And you can tell me if I'm off

But I see it on your face

When you say that she's the one that you want

And you're spending all your time

In this wrong situation

And anytime you want it to stop

I know I can treat you better

Than she can

And any guy like you deserves

A good girl

Tell me why are we wasting time

On all your wasted crying

When you should be with me instead

I know I can treat you better

Better than she can

I'll stop time for you

The second you say you'd like me too

I just wanna give you the loving that you're missing

Baby just to wake up with you

Would be everything I need and this could be so different

Tell me what you want to do

'Cause I know I can treat you better

Than she can

And any guy like you deserves

A good girl

Tell me why are we wasting time

On all your wasted crying

When you should be with me instead

I know I can treat you better

Better than she can

Better than she can

Give me a sign

Take my hand, we'll be fine

Promise I won't let you down

Just know that you don't

Have to do this alone

Promise I'll never let you down

'Cause I know I can treat you better

Than she can

And any guy like you deserves

A good girl

Tell me why are we wasting time

On all your wasted crying

When you should be with me instead

I know I can treat you better

Better than she can

Better than she can

Better than she can

May He ease it for you, friend

Do you know how shocked I was when the truth is revealed? I cannot lie, I am still surprised now but deep down inside me, there's a voice saying and in fact keeps on repeating "I expected it. I knew it. There's a reason why I say what I said and well, it turned out to be true. Like a curse". Am I at fault? Did it happen because I said it? Indeed. I'm never wrong in this. Things happen for a reason. And sometimes there are millions of them mixed together like nobody's business.

I feel like I just came back through a time machine. It's fascinating and scary at the same time how memories could make you feel like you just rode a roller coaster. That exciting, mixed and haywire feelings lingering around you just like when you have ridden a roller coaster! Wow, this is clearly something I just have to write about though I seriously don't think I can describe it well.

I have missed you, my friend. It's just, nobody has ever known and understood me the way you do. Whenever you say something about me, it clicks and hits me hard right away. Like I know that is so me yet nobody has ever described it the way you do. Nobody has ever pinpoint it right the way you do. No matter how I wanted to just you know, brush it off and keep moving forward, I sometimes remember you. And us. How there are more happy moments than all the silly fights.

But oh well, life goes on. Never did I realize, while I was walking towards my future, there you are, stuck and confuse with everything that's happening in your life, pitifully. There you are, alone and drown in your own overthinking thoughts.

Trust me my friend, I have been there. I have experienced whatever you're experiencing right now and I know how much that sucks. I know, we are human. It doesn't matter if we are warned beforehand, we still go on living like how we wanted, expecting things would never turn out as the warnings we got. However, life never lie. Fate doesn't lie. If it's meant to be, it will definitely be. And I'm telling you, I don't regret what I said.

Honestly, I hope you will make the right decision for yourself. I hope you will stop being too stupid to realize you're being taken for granted. I hope you stop abusing yourself by letting that person controls you like a freaking puppet. All that matters at the end of the day is you and yourself. Life is not as simple and easy as we thought but it's never that hard as well. One thing for sure, there's always a rainbow after the rain, no?

I will pray for you, my friend. And just like I told you, I hope I'll be hearing good news from you sooner than I expected. Sooner or never, remember? I believe you can think well and quite maturely. I hope He guides you towards a good conclusion in the end, insyaAllah.

Praying for the best then

It is kinda hard for me to decide on this. Half of me think that maybe it's time to finally get over it and move into the next phase in life. I have postponed enough anyway so it's about time already. However, half of me think that maybe it's better to take my time as much as I can and enjoy the ride. Because I have come this far, why should I hurry? I'm late anyway. It is simply not that easy.

You know, sometimes it hits me hard. At my age, most of my friends are working or maybe pursuing their Masters degree. I'm no longer young. It's not the fact that I'm not happy where I am now but it's more towards what if I'm in their position? What would it be like, to work or to pursue a Master degree? It would be great, wouldn't it? Of course it would Mieza, duh!

Being in my final year makes it harder on me to be honest. The fact that I can just take all my subjects in one semester and get going for my internship and yada yada is surprisingly a hard decision to make. Nonetheless, I have decided. With difficulties of course.

I have decided to take my time, to grab opportunities, to enjoy, to create memories, to suck every experiences and to score instead of rushing towards life. Not to say my friends are all rushing. Of course not. Just, I think there's a reason why I'm behind them all. There's a reason why my life is one step late. Life's a climb isn't it? All we have to do is just enjoy the view. And I have decided to.

May Allah ease this decision and this journey. InsyaAllah. :)

My current obsession

We Don't Talk Anymore

Charlie Puth feat Selena Gomez

Keep calm, it's senior year!

Here begins the final year of my degree!

Alhamdulillah, ya Allah

Actually, when a friend of mine told me (as a gimmick of his LOL) only then I realized a fact. The fact that fascinates me until now. The fact that leaves me speechless for a single moment, a moment of silent they say.

The fact that this is the 6th time I reward myself with a dean's list. The fact that it is in a row ever since my first semester in degree (somewhere new obviously) until the 6th semester currently. The fact that I never once fail to make my parents proud of me every semester just like I planned and aimed to. The fact that my hard work is paid off (at least I feel like it did) every single semester. Ya Allah, it feels so good.

Honestly, I am not smart. And I don't think I can be (like seriously LOL). But I guess I am just that type who can do anything she puts her mind into. I think I'm that type who can easily get whatever I want to (when I do it myself I mean). And the only thing I mostly want and that I'll make sure I do it is; to make my parents proud of me in my studies. Minus all the little and not that important things of course.

Alhamdulillah, syukur ya Allah. There's nothing I ask for than a smile on my parents' face (even if I cannot see) when they knew my results every semester and that proud feeling inside both of them. I'm very happy when I can make them happy.

So yeah. Again, congratulations self. You did great for 2 years in a row and remember, your parents and family are proud of you. That is more than enough. Keep up the good work, the endless effort and the extra hard work in everything you do. May Allah bless the future ahead, insyaAllah.

October, be nice please :)

It's the end of my month, September. Alhamdulillah, it was great as usual every year. Now hello, October. A month where all the thrills and fun are in, I just cannot wait anymore! May Allah ease, insyaAllah.

Oh not to forget, it marks the beginning of my final year degree as well! Oh God, this is so exciting and meaningful. It's a year when I will remember most. Pretty sure I'm going to miss it too later, huh? Bet I will. May everything went well this month too. Amin. ^_^

Salam Maal Hijrah 1438

We have always celebrated new year right? But a common and well known new year just like any religion celebrates at the end of every year. Today, it's the New Year in the Islamic calendar. I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone Salam Maal Hijrah, 1438. Alhamdulillah it's another year for us Muslims. May this New Year brings us happiness, opens the doors of prosperity and may Allah bless all of us together, everywhere and anywhere we are. It's another chance to repent and change myself into the betterment, insyaAllah. Have a blessed one! :)