I am heartbroken. I am hurt. I am crying. It hurts so much, knowing that you are hurting the same, still. I can't help but crying my eyes out. I never want to waste my tears on you, not anymore, after all. Because it is wrong. It is pointless. It is a waste.
But today, now, I don't have the power to fight back my tears from rolling out of my eyes. It's natural. For once, I don't even have the intention of fighting my tears back. For once, I cry my heart out in this room full of people who couldn't care less of their surroundings. I'm breaking down, still. Because of you. Irony, huh?
It's been a long time. I was too busy with my life till I forgot you. Or maybe, I chose to forget you. And I thought, I have moved on. I thought I have forgotten you. I thought I'm done with you. Nonetheless the reason is, today, everything hits me hard. Do I still care about you? Deep down inside, is there still at least, a bit of remaining feelings towards you, despite everything happened?
For once, I think I should put myself into rest from being that strong girl. For once, I feel like this weak self of mine, never left. I don't know. For me, crying is weak. And I'm crying. Hence I'm weak. That's not me. At least, that's not what I have been presenting myself to the society. I am strong. I am so called, strong. At least in the eyes of others. This is not me. Crying in front of people though they didn't even care.
I really have no idea. Nothing could explain why I cry so much, just by reading? Do I still care? If I do, I must be crazy. Crazy enough to care about someone who has nothing to do with me anymore, so bad till I cry my eyes out the moment I finished reading. Every bit, every line, every word, is like a knife, trying to cut my skin or maybe take my heart out. It hurts so much.
Do I still care about you? Or am I just pitying you?
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