I miss us

I am seriously afraid that I might fall for you again. It's tough for me. I keep on thinking of you, all the time. I miss you for God's sake! I must be crazy, I know. However, feelings are not something that we, human could control as we wish. It's just there. Come and go. Or maybe never left?

I don't know anymore. The more I think, the more I fall deep into all the memories. The more I think, the more it makes no sense to me. The more I think, the more I feel like it's impossible.

Have you ever heard of a saying goes "If you are still in contact with your ex (well in my case he's not even my so called ex), it means two things. Whether the love is still there or the love has never been there?" Right. There is that kinda saying. So my question would be, do you believe in that? Is it even possible for two people are still connected even after few years have passed?

First thing first, fine, I am pretty confident and sure that in my case, the love is still there. At least I think so for now. Obviously not because of the second reason, the love has never been there. No. A total no no. That is too mainstream to be true. Surely, the love is still there. That's it. But how far this is true? Am I just hallucinating? Is it possible? Ah, I don't know! And it's killing me!

To be honest, I think it feels right only if I come clean with you. But then again, I am seriously afraid of your response. God, this is hard. I'm scared of the fact that I might fall again for you. I'm scared I might make things complicated again for you. I'm scared this might be my one sided feeling. I'm too scared.