It's hard to be me

This devastation I feel for the second time is unbearable. Despite the reasons, the reality, the present, everything is just, too hurtful. To bear with. To get over with. I feel totally ripped. Exactly into pieces. My emotion is unstable and there's nothing I could do to stop myself from mourning over it. Or maybe, there's nothing I want to do.

And this is the first time in life, I've ever feel this way. Never did I imagine such thing could happen. Again. I don't think anybody would, honestly.

Being me, being in my shoe is very very very tiring, stressing, depressing and whatnot. Not because I'm perfect but simply because I have done and still doing a very huge quantity of mistakes in life. Though I try hard every single day to remind myself not to repeat them, learn from them instead, it's just still not working. I will found out that I am repeating the same mistakes and learn nothing later on. It is frustrating even to me. What more people around me.

Even if this sounds silly, but I seriously even study how to live life the way a normal human being should. I'm not bragging about how I've put efforts in being me the way I am now. It's not that I'm living a decent, normal life anyway. But personally living life is hard. Being me is hard.