Goodbye 2013

2013 has ended. For good. Alhamdulillah, it's been a pretty good year for me. Despite all those regrets and stupid mistakes done, for all the ups and downs, the experiences and lessons, thank you 2013. For teaching me how life should be like, when you reached 21. It's undeniably precious for me to be able to face such circumstances on my own. By myself. It's rather impressive. To me. Thank you 2013 for being such a lovely year after all. So long then.

It is my first time. First time "celebrating" (as if) new year, alone. Being alone is what I needed most right now. Yeah, I guess. Even though I do hate being alone, initially. Exactly too many things have been going on in my life at this moment until at one point, I feel like disappear with this wind blowing at me right now. This breezy night makes me feel more lonelier. It's not a bad thing, though. Just like how I want. And I know it will be worse if I started to think. So I won't. I just wanna let my thoughts drift away together with the wind. For now.

Even if it's funny, actually I always think depression is not for me. But well, I'm a human being. Exactly a normal one. So, yeah. Anyways, goodbye 2013.

Just know that everyone feels broken sometimes.

Life doesn't give you the people you want, it gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you, to understand you, to distrust you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

Encourage yourself. Don't speak defeat over your life. It's okay. Life doesn't have to be perfect, it just have to be lived. Don't forget you're human. It's okay to have a meltdown. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.

Part II : A confession

I have to admit. I really want people to treat me just the way they used to. By ignoring my mistakes, by ignoring the rumors, just treat me how they did back again.

I really have a hard time because somehow I'm hoping that they just stop being so judgmental. At least towards me. It's heartbreaking. It's not something that I can just pass it through my mind easily.

Every single day, I'm trying and I keep on trying to some sort of redeem back my mistakes. I keep on feeling that I've wronged everyone in the world. I keep on thinking how I wish to turn back time and erase those mistakes done just in a flash.

It's hard. The feeling of regret seems to haunt me every second. The feeling of sorry seems to dominate myself every inch.

I just want one thing. To be treated just the same as how people used to treat me. Please?

0700 until 1500

I watched a tournament the whole day today. It was a very interesting yet tiring experience for me. It's good though. Despite being trapped in the hall sitting 24/7, waiting each categories performed until the prize-giving ceremony, this was a great Karate Open Championship. I've never seen any live karate or even taekwando match before and I never want to, so it excites me at the beginning of the match up till my 13 years old niece category. This thing is cool man! It's way cooler when I got to see my own niece performed.

She managed to get 2 gold medals for both categories she was in. And ohh by the way, she's under IIUM team. Well I'm proud of IIUM because they also managed to get 2 gold medals for the team. It's cool. Seriously. People call her "baby" since she was small until now, 13 years old and I guess it will forever be that way. Whatever it is, thanks baby, for the amazing performance! Proud of you.

Part I : Truth hurts. Always.

Before asking someone why they hate you, ask yourself why you even really care. There's one chapter in my everyday life that really suits this quote. I've always wonder who hates me and for what reason if they do. And of course, there will be no specific answer for those thoughts. It's too general yet subjective.

I admit that I became a bit ignorant as time passed by. Especially for these kinda things I'm talking about because you know the truth that you just cannot please everybody around you even if you really meant that way. I'm included. Because somehow I've tried to, before. And I still failed. I keep on trying and I even tried harder. It's disappointing me so much until I've decided to stop.

Up till now, I would be lying if I say it doesn't bother me. It still does. Emotionally. At least a bit. And now even if I try to be calm and you know, just accept the ugly truth about how the society is originally unfair, it still kills me deep inside my heart. Honestly.

Silence speaks when words can't. But don't misunderstand my silence. Sometimes I could be a quiet person who befriends with silence almost all the time and keeps everything you've done inside me or a DJ who babbling and talking all day long without scripts about how jerky you are. It depends on how you treat me first thing first though darlings. Just because my eyes don't tear, doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry. And just because I come off strong, doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

I do accept the fact that people somehow will talk about you whether you do good or bad. But people seem to forget the fact that despite talking about someone's life and create rumors, there are lots of other important things they could do with that time. They just have to realize that.

#justalittlesighs

Thank you, full stop

"Dlm relationship, tak kisah la, be it friendship ke, relationship ke, marriage ke, relation dgn mama abah ke, siblings ke, whatever lah kan, klu brgaduh, jgn lebih dari sehari. Klu lebih jugak, even sehari je pun, even sehari yg 24 jam tu pun, alamatnya tawar hati, perasaan pun boleh hlg mcm tu je in a blink of an eye, susah sng kwn pun buat derk je. Tkde dah nak ingat bnd2 sweet yg penah lalui smua dulu tuh. Apa tu org ckp, tkde mknanya! Mcm seolah2 dah jd abu. Klu yg siblings or parents, boleh jd brmasam muka yg brlarutan. Tu yg jd kisah break up lah, cerai lah, tak tegur mama abah abg adik kakak, putus kwn lah. Sbb nie lah ha. Walhal tak smp brp hari kwn, tak smp brp bulan couple, tak smp brp tahun kahwin. Smua relationships boleh putus, just sbb gaduh. So pndai2 lah"...

Well said, mama. Thank you for that. Mcm trhiris2 je ayat tu. I feel it right now at this moment. Too much arguments, somehow annoy me to the max! Until finally, I've had enough with all those craps. Feel like leaving and disappear for awhile. Perhaps for good. At least until I feel normal because now I'm not. Although yeah, I may seem normal to you, but inside me, I'm burning and everything has became ashes that has blown away my feelings. I almost burnt myself. Thanks to you.

Hello October

Thank Lord, my September was superbly amazing. Lots of things happened and it will always be kept safe in my memory.

I turned 21 on the 4th of September. I've got the most prettiest gift I've ever wished for. And most importantly, every single day on September were a blessing for me. It went so well, I'm grateful enough.

Goodbye for good, September. Thank you for cherishing my days. Thanks Lord.

Dear October, welcome! Be more fabulous yeah? Because somehow you have to work hard and beat September. Ahahah! I wish you lucks then. :)

A kid will grow up, eventually

Since I was small up till now, I really look up to her. I just want to be exactly like her. She's my role model. She's my example in everything I do. She's like a perfectionist. Everything she does, she says, it's most likely perfect. Maybe after reducing her 'lecture' skills a bit, every single time, for every single thing, even little ones, which err most of the times annoying to the core, she'll be beyond perfect. Her life, her family, her career, her studies. Everything seems perfect to me. Ohh how I wish to live like her and be like her.

But I grow up as time passed by. I guess I realize one thing. I can never share the same life as anyone else in this whole world even if I'm dying to. You are lucky enough to be different. Never change. And so, I give up the idea of being like her slowly without I even noticed.

Being a grown up is an amazing time and a hard time as well. It's when you learn something new and make mistakes. It's when you fall in love and taste different kinds of emotions. It's when you make your best friends. I have girls who will never leave my heart and I still talk to. You get the best and the worst as you grow up. You have the best friendships and the worst heartbreaks. More than enough then.

This is the feeling of 21

As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected by something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better. I always pray that way. I often think that way.

Things happen for a reason. Yes sometimes I really feel reluctant to let go certain things that were meant to happen in my life. I would be lying if I say I am always positive and able to let go everything very easily. Not most of the time. It is hard. Yeah because I am a normal human being, yet a normal girl trying to live her life to the fullest as long as she can and appreciate everything that comes in.

When that deciding time comes, sometimes I feel as if I cannot really live without it, so I refuse to let go. Sometimes I feel that well I have to let go, I am capable to at least do that. It's a duo. Totally clashing and the percentage is 50/50. By then I believe. The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who win the battles we know nothing about. And yes. I've won the battle.

How little things could make my day

The feeling of when you sing a normally high pitch song for you, until you have to cover it up doing falsetto every single time, but this one time, you manage to exactly reach the high note, is super double triple amazing! Seriously. And I begin to craze these 2 songs much. David Guetta - Titanium and Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You. Yayy!

Actually one of the reason why I chose Titanium by David Guetta to sing, merely because of the movie called Pitch Perfect. It seems doable although they sang it just in their shower and barely naked. *opss* Nice movie though. Very teenagerish! *ahaks* So in the beginning I was going to try and sing the song in my own way, and I did, but after the second try, I realized that the high notes were manageable. You never know unless you try right? Indeed. I'm feeling great! Overly great. Overly joy.

Thank Lord

It's cliche. I begin to realize that everything I feel and experience, there's always someone or maybe more, will have to agree in my point of view about it. We are common and in fact share the same opinion. Well I am not alone in this matter. It's not something to be proud of but somehow it's relieving me. Somehow. All we need is some relief through these hard times, I've got mine. Sometimes just the act of sharing a painful secret can relieve some of the pain. Alhamdulillah.

Look for the girl with the broken smile

She's speechless. She doesn't really have a thing to say. Yet everybody's staring at her with big rounded eyes and it's like forcing her to speak anything at that moment. A word or two would be fine. She seems hopeless. The only thing she could think of is "I'm sorry" and run away from everyone. Everyone looks surprised and the sounds of people whispering keeps budging in the hall. Probably talks about lots of speculations they have made themselves. It sounds louder. Noisy.

She runs through the stairs and locks herself in her room. It was a very shameful scene ever happen in her life. What a pity. She cries so hard by herself. Cover them with her pillow so it doesn't sound a thing. She even screams out loud. Everything happen just like a flash. She can't even believe it.

Suddenly a voice whispered. Soft. Barely heard. "That was nothing dear. There's lot more to come. You have to be prepared or else you'll be sorry. You have to stay strong...". She stops crying and lift her head up. She closes her eyes and started to concentrate on the voice. "It's fine to cry now. Take your time to cry your eyes out. But after that, you have to be strong back. Just the way you are and you'll be fine...". She keeps her eyes closed. Until she didn't hear a thing. For a long time. The voice disappeared.

Believe it or not, the voice that came from nowhere seemed to make her calm. She swipes her tears away. She gets up and takes a deep breath. Twice. "But after that, you have to be strong back. Just the way you are and you'll be fine" she repeats. Like a spell. She seems sober just by repeating them. Now she's ready to face anything.

I've learned the greatest lessons from my worst mistakes

Something happened and it did change my life. For once, I really felt like I'm dead for, maybe, hmm 15 minutes? I don't know but sort of. That's the first thing came from my head. "I'm a dead meat".

First thing to do, stop the car. Where ever it is doesn't matter, as long as I pull off the car. Or else perhaps something bad might happen which will make me even more regret than how I am already. And after I off the engine, I took a very long deep breath by myself. Again. Again. And again. Up till I feel relax and calm enough, or maybe sane enough? Suits yourself. That's the perfect thing to do first thing first after everything. By then, my head started to play a movie of mine about the past. A flashback on how dumb I was. I felt like I'm slowly dying by the fact that, those were actually my past. Of course the decisions and mistakes I've done. Screw me. With all of these rewind session going inside my head, I decided to drive back. Slowly started the engine and drive away.

Arrived. Somehow the only thing I could think of is pray. And so I rushed myself as soon as I got home. To pray. Lord's power, I became much calmer, alhamdulillah. Whatever results will become, it's all in His hand. I'm still praying and will always be, insyaAllah.

#nousetocryoveraspiltmilk #pray #athingtolearnfrom

Wasted opportunities are what we regret the most

After watching Konsert Prelude Akademi Fantasia 2013, I must say I am pretty much regretting my decision. In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make. Well regardless everything, congratulations to all of them. Somehow, you must never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted. Don't waste your time looking back on what you've lost. Move on, because life is not meant to be traveled backwards. Okay!

Live for the moments you can't put into words

It's a good day to have a good day. Guess I've get used myself to live my life to the fullest every single day without fail. You have to listen to the people who have a negative opinion as well as those who have positive opinion. Just to make sure that you are blending all these opinions in your mind before a decision is made. I learnt that if you want peace, stop fighting. If you want peace of mind, then stop fighting with your thoughts. Sounds simple. Yes it does. It gets simpler when you really apply that. Now I can say I have a clear mind. Than before. At least. I believe that the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. Keep that in mind and you'll be just fine, insyaAllah.

Something to ponder about

Maybe you know me, but sorry to say, you don't know my story. I mean the whole story. Or maybe you know my story. But not from me. I guess I am trying so very damn hard just to please people and to make up all of my mistakes that I've done intentionally or unintentionally before. I am tired of trying. I am exhausted. Think it's time for me to stop. Maybe just for awhile. Not because I refuse to admit my mistakes, but because it's getting useless. People seem to ignore my efforts. Is it that hard to forgive and forget? One thing to remind, I am a human being. Well just a human being. I am not perfect and at least I am trying to fix my mistakes back.

I believe that behind every negative things, there are positive things that I can learn. I believe that before and I will still believe on that, forever.

Happy 21st Birthday, Mieza Shafieza Mohd Fuad

Officially 21. Alhamdulillah. For the last 20 years, ups and downs, straight and curvy, I've gone through it so far, I've learnt about it successfully. Despite all the things happened, I want to thank every single of them. Experiences, mistakes, problems, solutions, people, guys, girls, friends, best friends, family, thank you very much. For exactly everything. I am what I am right now, thanks to all of you. You guys made me the way I am right now, I have no regrets at all. Good or bad things happen for a reason. I appreciate every single of it.

When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone something that has changed them. So don't judge the book by it's cover.

Dear self, happy 21st birthday. You are a grown up woman now, so improve yourself and act like one. For all the things I've done, whether it's intentionally or unintentionally, I am very deeply sorry from the bottom of my heart and from head to toe. Hopefully by turning 21, I could be a better daughter, a good sister, a meticulous friend and a better person. I cannot simply promise things I have no confidence on doing, but one thing for sure, I will try my very best to be better than I am today, insyaAllah. :)

I am not afraid of storms. I am learning how to sail my ship. Yes I make mistakes. Maybe everyday, maybe every time. But most importantly, that's the only way how I could learn what life is all about. Without making any, I won't gain any experience. Then life is boring. That's sad. This way, I find that life is full of surprises. It's interesting how your problems could make you wiser. Even if you are getting older, still, that couldn't guarantee you will be a wise person. Age doesn't matter much but problems do. Specifically for this reason. Dear self, it's okay to make lots of mistakes but please learn from it and don't ever repeat.

Count your blessings, not your problems

Tough times never last, but tough people do. You know, the only thing you could do for yourself is stay strong. Because just by doing that, whoever, however, whenever, whatever things happen, people cannot bring you down. Even if they want to. When you are blessed, the haters come out. When you wear Allah's blessings well, don't be surprised if it draws jealousy out on people.

Today, will never come again my dear. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Forgive everyone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, not wound.

#aremindertoselftoo

Everyone's beautiful in their on way

Someone asked me, "Do we have to pretend if we are in public? Yelah, usually people used to stare weirdly at us if we do something extraordinary without shame." and well my answers for that question are there's no particular rules you cannot be yourself in public. So be it. Why cares about what others think or say? Seriously do not waste time pretending while you can always be yourself anywhere you want. Just do not overdo everything. To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You just need to accept yourself. That's it.

To Fenna Manson

Stay The Same

Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly

Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far

And I hope you'll always stay the same
Cause there's nothing about you
I would change

I think that you could be
Whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize
All the dreams you have inside

Don't be afraid
If you got something to say
Just open up your heart
And let it show you the way

Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly

Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far

And I hope you'll always stay the same
Cause there's nothing about you
I would change

Believe in yourself
Reach down inside
The love you find
Will set you free

Believe in yourself
You will come alive
Have faith in what you do
You'll make it through

Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far

And I hope you'll always stay the same
Cause there's nothing about you
I would change

Dreamer is cool

Dad. A son's first hero. A daughter's first love.

For being my lovely, understanding and sporting father, I thank you a million. For being my one and only funny hero in life, thank you. For hurting you throughout my life, I am truly sorry. Happy Father's Day Mohd Fuad Kassim. There's no other father like you in this world. Your jokes make my day brighter. Sometimes funny, sometimes it's just a plain joke that nobody would laugh at. But still I laugh myself out loud because it comes from you.

Abah, maybe I am not as pretty or as cute or as beautiful as other daughters'. Maybe I am not as smart as your friends' daughters. Maybe I am not the daughter you wanted me to be since I was born. But one thing I could guarantee you is, I love you. I appreciate you as my father. I'm glad I have you as a father. Nobody could ever replace you in this heart of mine. You are the greatest gift Allah has ever gives to me. You have been there for me, no matter what bad choices I might have made. You lovingly repaired my broken spirit, helped me plot a new course and set me free with to fly on my own. There is no greater love other than that. You will always be special to me and no matter where life takes me, I'll remember you with love.

When You Were My Man

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Our songs on the radio but it don't sound the same

When our friends talk about you all it does it just tear me down

Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

And it all just sounds like

Ohh...

Too young too dumb to realize

That you should have bought me flowers

And held my hand

Should have gave me all your hours

When you had the chance

Take me to every party 

Cause all I wanted to do was dance

Now baby i'm dancing

But i'm dancing with another man

Your pride, your ego, your needs and your selfish ways

Caused a good strong woman like me to walk out your life

Now you never, never get to clean up the mess you've made, ohh

And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

And it all just sounds like

Ohh...

Too young too dumb to realize

That you should have bought me flowers

And held my hand

Should have gave me all your hours

When you had the chance

Take me to every party 

Cause all I wanted to do was dance

Now baby i'm dancing

But i'm dancing with another man

Although it hurts

I'll be the first to say that I was wrong

Ohh, you know you'll probably much too late

To try and apologize for your mistakes

But I just want you to know

Hey, he buys me flowers

And holds my hand

Give me all his hours

Cause he has the chance

Take me to every party

Cause he remembers how much I love to dance

Does all the things you should have done

When you were my man

Does all the things you should have done

When you were my man

Better a cruel truth than a comfortable lie

Truth may hurts but lying leads you nowhere. Everyone wants the truth but no one wants to be honest. Guess it's just a sin to hold honesty? I don't know. I'm just not sure. Even how many times I give it a think, isn't it better to slap a person with the truth then to kiss that person with a lie? The only thing more shocking than the truth are the lies people tell to cover it up. Even one lie could ruin a million truths. Seriously. No joke. Somehow telling the truth and making someone cry is much more better than telling a lie and making someone smile. After all you know that's a temporary smile. Fake one to be frank. The truth may hurt for a little while but a lie hurts forever. You just will remember every single lies for the rest of your life. Speak the truth even if you voice shakes. You know you will get over it after you have done being honest. Take it as a one shot to go. True beauty is telling the truth the moment when others tell you to lie. And the truth may sounds insane sometimes but it doesn't mean it's not. Take note on that too.

Live your life

Life is like a roller coaster. You can either scream out loud every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy the ride. Life is not measured by the breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away. Difficulties in your life doesn't come to destroy you but to help you realize your hidden potential. Life is very complicated. Don't try to find answers because when you find answers, life changes the questions. Life offers you story as far as the road goes.

In life you do things. Some you wish you had never done. Some you wish you could replay a million times in your head but they all make you who you are and in the end they shape every details about you. If you were to reverse any of them, you wouldn't be the person you are. So just live. Make mistakes. Have wonderful memories but never ever second guess who you are, where you have been and the most importantly where it is that you are about to go.

Life isn't about how to survive the storm. It's about learning how to dance in the rain. When someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. It's that simple. There's things in life that you have to let go of no matter how much it hurts but you know it's the best. Life is not the amounts of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away. Life changes. And things don't always look and last the way you hope they would. In three words I can sum up everything about life is, it goes on.

Rice has turned into porridge

Don't do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset. I know that's somehow a truth but don't ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance and my kindness for weakness. Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by someone or something that you thought would never hurt you. In the end they do. Life is unexpected. That is why, you should never expect things to happen. It's better to feel surprised than to feel disappointed. Hmm. Anyways I blame myself. It's my fault. Don't blame people who disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much from them. This is what you gained from.

Hello there!

Every story has an end, but in life every ending is a new beginning. I'm not going to label it's a new story but it is a new beginning for me. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. I believe, a bad day doesn't mean a bad life. You have to just get over it because life goes on, by hook or by crook. Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next. That's a delicious ambiguity. It's time for a new adventure. If you want to fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down. Booyahhh!

A piece of truth

Listen. Get the whole story. Understand. Talk. If things need to be said. Say it. If it's better to be told personally, find way and tell it personally. We never know others feelings. Human is created differently. Different ways. Different stories. Different taste. Different thoughts. Allah is watching, is listening. Sometimes our niah is right, but not the way. If we have the intention of doing goods, then find ways to make it stay as good as it should be. Relationship with human is very important. Some things don't matter to you. Might be matters to others. If we cannot make things better, then just pray for others. If we don't have something nice to say, then keep quiet. We are not always right and not everything need to be told. Not everything we need to know. Especially about other people. Let ourselves honestly ask forgiveness and easily forgive. Allah is most forgiving.

Girls chat is simply the best

It's a very good feeling I'm having these days. Probably this is the reason why I really want a younger sister who's not having such a big distance of age between us. But dear Mieza Sharafiena, I still love you the most! haha :p Having the chance to talk about girls' thingy is really a cannot-be-wasted thing. I've been meaning to give advises to a younger sister for quite a long time. Now I have someone to venture that! It's awesome. Sorry Sina for being with me and listens to all of my lectures. And prayers for your relationship! May everything still the same till the end. :)

Let your best be your friend

Stand up for something, even if it's may means standing alone. For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible. Words only hurt when you allow yourself to believe them. If Allah brings you to it, He will brings you through it. Don't be a dreamer. Dreamers dream. Be a believer. Believers tackle their goals. That's what you should do. Always remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and more beautiful than you could ever believe. To accomplish great things, you must not only act but also dream, not only plan but also believe. Let your past make you better not bitter. If it weren't for the mistakes you have done, you wouldn't learn a single thing which appear to be meaningful to you a bit later. As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. When you learn how to accept instead of expect, you will have fewer disappointments. Still, don't ever look back. It's bad for you to bear with.

Success is a staircase, not a doorway

Sometimes to be successful, it is not because of formulas or methods but it's all about self realization. Nothing happens for no reasons. Failures, success, good memories, bad memories, everything has been set up for you since you was born and it cannot simply changed just because you want it to be changed. All it takes is one fine time for you to be successful. Do not mind falling because that's the most wonderful thing should happen to you before you want such a great bouncing.

Successful people are those who are trained to be successful, they are not born to be because to be successful, you must have the eagerness. Apart from that, everything can be trained. Know you own problems, self realization yourself according to your own problems and capabilities. Knowledge is dead. You don't have to be experts in order to be successful. Just be knowledgeable. Plant a good habit for yourself and for your own good. Learn how to be a multitasker. You can never work forever but you can never stop to work forever too. It's a win win situation here. Just depends on which one you choose to do.

To be skillful, you need to practice to create your own piece of artwork. Give yourself a million reasons why everything can be done. There is no harm in trying. Walk what you talk, experience is the very best teacher in life. You can make more so don't make less, don't hesitate because what's hindering you is your own self. When you think you know, that's where you don't know, when you think you understand, that's where you don't understand. Life is huge. When you do good deeds, everybody will give you back good deeds. Be a builder, not a professor. Observe and say things that make sense.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Assalammualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

In the name of Allah, the most merciful and the most forgiving. I must admit it has been a long time since I write in this blog of mine. It has been a long time since I've started to split out everything happen inside here, good or bad, beneficial or not. It's a good feeling to be able to write again and insyaAllah I will do it at least if it's not as often as before, well I will surely spend some time here to make my own self feel better.

I know I am not that perfect and I do not live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, please make sure your hands are clean. Everyone deserves a second chance. But yes of course not for the same mistakes, over and over again. I believe the best way to escape from your past is not avoiding it or forget it. But to accept it and forgive it. For every dark night, there's a brighter day. Pain doesn't just show up in our lives for no solid reason. It's a small sign that somehow something in our lives needs to be changed right away.

Mieza Shafieza, life is a collection of mistakes. You will never learn if you don't make them. For the past few months, it has been such a tough months for you. Good times become good memories and bad times become good lessons. Let go everything and welcome March sincerely. InsyaAllah, March will be yours. Amin! :)